Go and play this game.
I want to leave my review there. It's a cheap, low-spec game available on Steam. It plays on PC, MAC, and Linux systems. It uses a modified yet simple version of the Source Engine. It's about 80 mins long. You can always claim a refund afterwards thanks to Steam's new service.
The Beginners Guide is a...game made by Davey Wreden, the creator of The Stanley Parable and co-creator of it's 2013 re-make - which is also a game you should play right now. In fact, there's a free demo for The Stanley Parable and it's the greatest game demo ever simply because the demo is a game in itself. It's not like the Half Life demo where nothing in the demo actually appears in the final game but...just play it. Download Steam (it's free) then download the free demo. If you like the demo, then buy the full game. Play the full game, and if you like it then buy The Beginner's Guide. Or just buy The Beginner's Guide right away.
This game is at once fascinating yet coldly distant. It completely turns around how a player views a game, but rather than looking inwardly like The Stanley Parable it looks outwardly to the creator itself. It's unlike anything I've seen before, and I thought I was very well versed on metafiction. I've read Roland Barthes, and I can roughly explain 'The Death of the Author' after only two quick looks through Wikipedia.
I'm running out of vague, reviewer-like things to say. OK then. You're still haven't bought this game yet? You still need more convincing? Alright then: this game made me cry.
That's right. It made me break down sobbing. I had to pause the game to have a nice little cry like a baby. And whilst I like to think that I have a sensitive side...I've never cried at a game before. In fact I've never cried at a book or song or film. Well, I might have done when I was about five years old, but I honestly cant remember the last time I cried at any work of art.
The closest I've come to such strong emotions whilst gaming was absolute terror in System Shock 2, the keyboard-smashing rage of Hotline Miami 2, the crushing sense of despair in Silent Hill 2, the thrill of victory in Half Life 2: Episode 2, and the utter dread you feel during 'that' moment in Spec Ops: The Line when you realise how horrid a human being you are.
But the difference between all those moments and The Beginner's Guide is that it's obvious the game designer's want you to feel such strong emotions during those parts. I say 'you' instead of 'I' because unless the game really isn't for you then you're going to feel the same emotions I did whilst playing System Shock 2, Hotline Miami 2, Silent Hill 2, Half Life 2: Ep2, and Spec Ops: The Line.
You won't cry at The Beginner's Guide. Well, you might. It's not a mindless timesink like any game Rockstar makes, nor is it satisfyingly bland like Gone Home. It's not a harrowing emotional experience, but it's a game that you won't know how to feel about. It may be a short game, but if you factor in the time you'll spend afterwards thinking about it then it's a very, very long game indeed.
I cried because right now I feel exactly the same way as Coda - whether he's real or not. I feel completely trapped and alone, stuck without ideas. I don't want to receive praise or validation for anything, I just want to create something beautiful - and not being able to do that means I can only use art to beat myself up with. But I don't want anyone to help me because no-one knows me: not even I do. Yet I do at the same time wish I had someone here with me, not to help me but to just let me talk to them.
And to see all this worded and illustrated before me, as though someone had taken my head, enlarged it, then shoved my head back inside it - it was too much.
You probably won't feel any of this. I don't know. Maybe others have empathised with this. Some are calling this game pretentious and, OK, maybe the narration is very direct in it's message - but I think the people calling this pretentious don't really get it. They've just taken the game at face value rather than considered the possibility of something deeper behind it. They also probably don't appreciate how this game is not only about one auteur but two auteur's in an industry where the auteur is dead. And if you don't know what an 'auteur' is then just Google it.
I think that's why I want you to play the game so much, because your reaction is going to be different to mine. I don't want to simply write a piece telling you how this game will make you feel, because the purpose is for you to experience a range of emotions.
Play this, then tell me how you felt. Please just do it.
